2018 Power Tour Introduction
Seems like only yesterday (or 2017) when we were rolling into Bowling Green, battered and bruised, but not altogether beaten, like some sort of Johnny Cash character, on the cusp of redemption, knowing full well that we were once again, Long Haulers. With all due respect to Bowling Green and the incredulous Corvette fans, who are, no doubt getting their 1953 Corvette step and repeat pattern boxers in a bunch right now, it’s about the journey, not the destination. We live that life with each and every Power Tour partly because it is such a trip, and also because our own Forrest Tosie will probably be taking us to the birthplace of the person attributed to this quote (complete with mandatory gift shop visit!). This year’s journey is our 24th. That’s right, we’ve been on every Power Tour since its inception, making us the longest of the long haulers (at
Read More
2019 Power Tour – Day 00
Hello, Charlotte, we’re inside you! Hmm, I really should rethink my choice of words, which is quite unfortunate, and not just because my mother’s name is Charlotte. Speaking of Mothers and Charlotte, our entire Mothers Polish squad is back for the 2019 Hot Rod Power Tour and we’re kicking things off at zMAX Dragway in picturesque Charlotte, North Carolina. Before I get this party started (don’t make me raise the roof – I’m really, really tall), I feel like I should address the elephant in the room. No, not me, Jokey McJokerson, my big-boned stature is well within the health and safety standards for my height (did I mention how tall I am?). The metaphorical elephant to which I’m referring is my man main, one Shane Christman. Shane had a familial obligation to attend to, which rendered him unable to attend the Tour. And you know what, I’m not sad
Read More
2019 Power Tour – Day 01
Who’s ready for Day 01 of the Power Tour? I know I am, but that’s mainly because I’m a hit-it-and-quit-it, one-and-done kinda guy. This applies to my work ethic, marital status, even my offspring. Yes, I know I have two kids, but let’s face it, my youngest was an accident. Don’t worry, she’ll never read this, but just in case, Daddy loves you! Where was I, aside from looking into therapy for my youngest child? Oh yeah, Day 01 of the Tour! Today, we tripped from Charlotte, North Carolina to Martinsville Speedway in Virginia, across 206 of the most majestic miles in our U.S. of effen A.! I would curse, but my kids are probably reading this right now (remember, Daddy loves you!). As a writer, I’m constantly reminded that all great stories start with conflict. Aside from the daily conflict that I deal with as a parent who loves
Read More
2019 Power Tour – Day 02
Today on Power Tour was one of those days. One of those perfect days where we basked in the glory of the hot summer sun. We felt the warmth on our backs and raced our shadows to the next stop. Tops down, windows open, shades adorned. It was an absolutely magnificent day and we reveled in each and every glorious sun-soaked moment. Damn it, I knew I shouldn’t have written this introduction in advance. It’s all part of a lifestyle change to be more efficient in everything I do. But now, it’s making me rethink my scheme to leave a week’s worth of day-labeled tuna fish sandwiches on the counter for my kids. My inability to stay ahead and keep Child Welfare Services off my back notwithstanding, today was indeed, a dark and stormy one. At the very least, it did give us a chance to show off the relentless
Read More
2019 Power Tour – Day 04
Today we kicked off Day 4 from a real deal casino. And yet, I didn’t go near the tables at the Belterra Casino Resort, mainly because I already play fast and loose with my blood pressure, love life (and life choices), and my kids’ college funds (just kidding, still no college funds). Our Day 4 Mothers on Tour party posse swelled to larger numbers, much like my waistband, my mountain of crushing debt, and that growth on my back (note to self: get that sucker checked out). Let’s see what our heroes are up to, shall we? Today, we went 213 miles from Kentucky Speedway to Lucas Oil Raceway in Indianapolis. Because of the mileage, Brian Thomson wanted to ensure he could go the distance. But Brian, what’s your wife Janet going to eat? Suddenly, Joe Hendershott saw a bush in the United States that he did not yet wee
Read More
2019 Power Tour – Day 05
Welcome to Day 5 of the Power Tour. Today was a bit of a bust and I’m not just referring to the coconut holders on Precious the mannequin. No, I’m gonna take it all the way to the days of Milli Vanilli and blame it on the rain. In the most Bad Luck Schleprock manner, the stormy skies followed us for the entire 204 miles from Indy to Fort Wayne, Indiana’s Allen County War Memorial Coliseum. The pouring rain not only put a damper on our Day 5 party, it effectively shut down the Power Tour Layover festivities forcing everyone to close up early. I had a game-changing idea to spray my entire body with CMX Ceramic Spray Coating with the hope that the formula’s relentless water beading would keep me dry. However, our party poopers in legal want me to tell you that YOU MUST NEVER APPLY CMX CERAMIC
Read More